"Look again in your heart... you are weeping for that which has been your delight"

~Kahlil Gibran from 'The Prophet'

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Member: Iris Noble
Oregon, USA

Greg Stoner

Hillsboro, Or

~~In Loving Memory of~~
DANIEL (Danny) (17)
9/29/82 - 9/28/00


I'm happy
Not fall down and giggle happy
Not jump up and down happy
Not last day of school happy
But just happy it is the weekend happy
Happy because I like being happy
Happy because it is healthy to be happy
Happy because people will like you if you are

This was written by Danny when he was in grade school, and now that he is gone these words haunt me. I don't think he ever realized how much he was loved by so many. He was always the kid his friends came to with their problems, always had a kind word and a tender heart. He had grown into a "gentle giant" and at 6ft 7in., he towered over all of us. Little children were attracted to him and he would get down on the floor to play with them. His kind hands could calm and befriend any animal that he held, from his hedgehog to his iguana, and many cats and dogs over the years. His passion was his computer, day and night we could find him in his room "working on something", from a web page or a new graphic, to just playing a new game. He could take them apart and put them together, fix a problem for someone over the phone. Danny never let us know what was going on inside, some days he would look so sad, but would never talk about it. I never heard him say, "when I get my own place" or, "when I have my own car", I think he had decided to never be an adult. He took his life the day before his 18th birthday by putting a gun to his forehead. He left a note on his computer just saying he was sorry and that it wasn't anyone's fault but his. I miss him so much, he was my precious baby boy, I miss his hugs, I miss hearing his step in the hall, his "I love you Mom", how do I live with this broken heart. My world is filled with all the "why's and "if only's, that I will never be able to answer. As his Mom I would have given my life for him, and all the love I have couldn't save him. I know that his pain must have been so great to have made him do this, and I know that now he is at peace, and that God watches over him.
I love you honey,

Member: Deb
Missouri, USA

~~In Loving Memory of~~
1/8/83 - 11/17/00

Dearest Johnathan,

We have always loved you so much and always tried to be there for you throughout all of your troubles. I just wish that we had really known just how troubled you were inside so that maybe we could have done something further for you. I miss you so much . . and will always feel you near me. I just hope you are at peace now . . we love you so much.

Mom & Dad

Member: Lois Wells
Oklahoma, USA

~~In Loving Memory of~~
01/30/75 - 03/19/00

Charles "Chad" Edward Wells, II was born on a cold January day, January 30, 1975 and died on March 19, 2000. He held the title of Life Rank in the Boy Scouts, a member of Who's Who Among American High School Students for 4 years, a member of Tri-State Honor Band, a football letterman, a representative for People to People Youth Science Student Exchange to the former USSR in aerospace, a Junior Ambassador of Good Will for the Piedmont Chamber of Commerce, a representative of the National Youth Leadership Forum in Security and Defense, a member of the Academic Team, an active member of his church youth group, full tuition scholarship to New Mexico Military Institute, American Legion Award for scholastic excellence, member of the elite Centurion Silent Rifle Drill Team, commissioned by the Department of the Army as a Second Lieutenant. But most of all the precious son of Lois and Chuck Wells. We had prayed for you to come for four whole years. You were so very wanted and loved ever so dearly from the moment we knew you were in mommy's tummy. You were your daddy's little miracle. Daddy took a two week vacation (all he had at that time) as soon as you came home from the hospital. He took total care of you. He changed your diapers, brought you to me when you were hungry, sang "Old Hill Hodges had a farm, e i e i o" to you as he rocked you. I don't think he put you down except to care for me during that whole 2 week period. I called you my angel man before you left us - and now I can call you that still- you are and always will be my angel man.

Chad, I wrote this poem back in April - after you left us. I have never shared it with anyone - but I think I want to share it here.


The Lord is our Shepherd
We are His own.
He shields and protects us.
He hears when we groan.

Protects me and shields me
But I don't understand
How Chad could get lost
When our God is so grand?

Lord, I know You are special.
My faith tells me so.
But how could Chad die?
Why didn't I know?

Christ is my banner
My strength and my God.
But why did He allow
My son to the sod?

These questions I'll ask
As long as I live.
When heaven's my home
The answers He'll give.

Our Beloved Chad - Mom's Angel Man- We will love you forever.
Mom, Dad, Chris, Grandad, and all of your family!!!! <>< <>< <><

Member: Jan Jackson
Texas, USA

~~In Loving Memory of~~
10/3/69 - 11/1/99

In Loving Memory

We do not need a special day to bring you to our minds.
The days we do not think of you are very hard to find.
Each morning when we awake we know that you are gone.
And no one knows the heartache as we try to carry on.
Our hearts still ache with sadness and secret tears still flow.
What it meant to lose you no one will every know.
Our thoughts are always with you, your place no one can fill.
In life we loved you dearly; in death we love you still.

There will always be a heartache, and often a silent tear.
But always a precious memory of the days when you were here.
If tears would make a staircase, and heartaches make a lane,
We'd walk the path to heaven and bring you home again.
We hold you close within our hearts; and there you will remain,

To walk with us throughout our lives until we meet again.
Our family chain is broken now, and nothing seems the same,
But as God calls us one by one, the chain will link again.

- author unknown -


Through dark despair, I've come to say goodbye,
With soul laid bare, I search for reasons why,
Engulfed in grief, feelings numb with pain,
There are no rainbows left, there's only rain.

The day will come, I know it takes a while,
Then through the tears again, I'll learn to smile.
But before I leave and I know it's time to go,
Upon your grave, with love, I leave a rose.

by Lynne Lake

Member: Sherry
Nevada, USA

~~In Loving Memory of~~
BRIAN (20)
4/17/77 - 12/11/99
(Sherry and Brian)

Dearest Brian,

We love and miss you so very much. When we look
to the beautiful night sky,
we know you are up there looking down on us....
watching over us.

On December 25, 2000 a star was dedicated to you
and named "Brian, Our Shining Star....12-11-1999.
It will forever bear your name Bri and is just like
my love for you.....forever....till the end of time.

With Very Special Love,

Brian, Our Shining Star

Oh son of mine why did you go,
I feel so lonesome here below.
I know you walked through Heaven's Door
but now I can't see you any more.

When you were growing as a child,
your energy did run me wild.
You questioned me all the time
we talked and talked, it was sublime.

As you grew older, my sweet son,
the birthdays were mounting one by one.
You couldn't wait to be 16, you spent your days
in constant dreams of when you would be all grownup
so you could leave, but that wasn't enough.

Next it was to be 18, to graduate,
what did that mean? To you it meant going off
to school....a college man...yeah, that was so cool.

To me, it meant you were breaking away,
you would no longer be home to stay.
You were spreading your wings, so anxious to fly
away to a world filled with girls and guys.
New friends to make and places to go....just
being on your own, you loved that so.

Oh Bri the years were going too fast,
I wanted to keep you home...to make it last.
But no, not for you my sweet son,
there were so many things you hadn't done.
College was there and temptations too.
Oh God, why couldn't I go there too...just to
keep an eye on you, but no, that would never...never do.

Each year that passed you came home less,
I could see you were thrilled to be leaving "the nest".
You were growing up...becoming a man
I remember the days when you held my hand.

She caught your eye and made you smile,
you were so happy for a little while.
You pledged your love to her with all your heart
and told me that you and Rachel would never part.
You thought that she was the One,
that you would be married my sweet son.

But things didn't last for you and Rach,
she left because of her grades.
Her parents felt you spent too much time
and it broke your heart, oh son of mine.

I could see that things for you had changed that year you turned to alcohol and beer.
You said, "" Don't worry Mom, I'm okay,
besides that's what everyone in college does now days."
And so I pretended not to be the nervous, worrying Mom you see.

Deep in my heart I knew my son,
that you were using alcohol....you said it was just for fun,
You hid from me how lonely and sad,
you really were just to keep me glad.
I kept praying that it would pass and you would
graduate from college at last.

But that was not to be my dearest son,
you chose to leave everyone.
The pain was great, no one knew but you,
they had no idea what you were going through.

Oh Bri, if I had only known you wouldn't have felt so all alone,
if only you would have called that night, I would have tried to
make everything all right....just like I used to
do when you were just a boy of 2.

It's been 14 months since you left that night
and now you are with the Infinite Light.
God knew that you were hurting so
you turned to him, ready to go.
Up towards Heaven you began your flight
with the Angels, into the night.
Soaring high up through the stars.
Looking down so far below
knowing your family was there....
did you hate to go?

But the pain and the sadness had melted away and
you felt joy and happiness like never before
and it was so beautiful as you soared,
Through the sky on Angels Wings....
closer to Heaven you could hear them sing.
Beautiful music all around, your Soul felt the
peace and love surround....You....
as you looked down from Heaven above, for now you had found the Perfect Love

Member: Harry
New York, USA

~~In Loving Memory of~~

The midnight stars are shining
On a dark and lonely grave.
They are shining on the one we loved,
The one we could not save.
He bade no one a last farewell
And did not say goodbye.
He was gone before we knew it,
And only God knows why.
You are thought of everyday....
Till we meet again
Mom and Dad

Member: Tracy
Vermont, USA

~~In Loving Memory of~~
03/01/83 - 11/19/00

It appears that I now see time differently
There is *when Victor was alive* time
And there is *since Victor died* time
As I have heard so many times
From so many parents
We died or what we knew of life ended
with our child's last breath
The breath they chose to be their last
We can't say it is unfair that an accident took you
We can't say it is unfair that there wasn't a cure for
your disease
We can say our child chose their time to kill
It just so happens that that very moment that they
chose to end their life
Is the very moment this new life began
It is hazy and not clear
It is muffled sounds without clarity
It is tastes that will never be the same
It is not knowing where to go or what to do with
Or even if I can do anything
It is loss of self and self worth
It is a desire to save, say, do anything to keep
someone else from feeling this
Oh my god please don't let them feel this pain
It is questions and no answers
It is the feeling of no hope, no love and the painful
memories that tear me apart
It is the hope and love and memories that are so
that they ease the pain...... sometimes
It is these arms, they are the arms I held Victor in
They are forever empty
Victor, your strength, your love and your guts
I need them now as I go on this journey
this life with no meaning and no destination
This search for why I am here and what am I supposed
to do
I want *when Victor was alive* time back
I am scared of *since Victor died* time

Tracy, Victor's mom, 3/1/83 - 11/19/00, hanging

Forever your mom
Forever my son
We are one

Member: Christine Audi
New York, USA

~~In Loving Memory of~~
TORI (15)
4/5/83 - 8/27/98

Member: Marge
Illinois, USA

~~In Loving Memory of~~
12/13/73 - 5/1/99

Member: Robin
Missouri, USA

~~In Loving Memory of~~
Christopher (30)
10/18/1969 - 09/16/2000

Be Strong
We are not here to play, to dream, to drift;
We have hard work to do, and loads to lift;
Shun not the struggle-face it; tis God's gift.

Be Strong
Say not, "The days are evil. Who's to blame?"
And fold the hands and acquiesce-oh shame!
Stand up, speak out, and bravely, in God's name.

Be Strong
It matters not how deep entrenched the wrong,
How hard the battle goes, the day how long;
Faint not-fight on! Tomorrow comes the song.

Missed by Mom, Dad his sister Jennifer,
and his kitty cat Willy..

We love you with all our hearts,
We miss you so much!!!

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